Why Do I Resist the Stuff that’s Good for Me?



Resistance is thought transformed into feeling. Change the thought that creates the resistance, and there is no more resistance.

Robert Conklin


 “Are you writing these days?” My wife asked me.  “No. I haven’t had time for that,” I grumbled back complaining about how busy life was at the office.  “I just wondered.” She replied. “You seem much happier when you’re writing.”

 She was right I realized.  I am much happier when I’ m writing. It gets the toxic stuff inside of my head outside of me.  Down on paper where I can figure life out or at least gain a better perspective about myself and the world we live in.

 Why am I resisting writing when it’s so good for me I pondered?  Perhaps it’s easier to grumble and wallow in the self-pity.  It’s easier not to have to change.  The results are more controllable—I’ll get exactly what I expect: that feeling of self-pity and negativity. Maybe even a dash of self-loathing tossed into my pity pot.

 But is that what I really want?  Is it life-giving for me to wallow in my feelings of self-pity?  Probably not I realized.  It’s probably much more life-giving for me to set aside some time each day to write. Just like it’s probably good for me to lose 10 pounds so I can feel good about myself again. 

But I resist that too.  I like ice cream and IPA beer even though they add tons of calories to my diet and contribute toward that growing middle-aged belly I’m developing. 

 So how do I change?  How do I do the things that are good for me? How do I stop resisting? 

 First, I identify what I’m resisting.  I make a list.  I am resisting writing and losing weight. 

 Then I make a simple game plan for success.  I will write each morning for a half hour no matter what. I’ll stay off Facebook until I’ve written at least one piece.  And for the weight, I’ll go back to using my Lose It app on my I-phone.  I’ll log in everything I eat each day along with recording the exercise I do until I get my weight down to what I want it to be.

 Finally, I decide I won’t quit.  When those feelings of self-pity and negativity seep back in again, I’ll check my resistance meter. I’ll pick myself up.  Get back on the bus.  And continue doing the things that are life-giving for me so that I can continue to be fully human—fully alive and strong. 


Game Plan:  What are you resisting today?  Make a list.  Then make a game plan for success.  What concrete steps can you take to move forward and experience the things that are life-giving instead of life draining for you?

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