It’s Okay to Like Yourself

Many of us were raised with the saying, It’s better to give than to receive; or Always place the needs of others first.

 While these words contain good wisdom reminding us to avoid selfishness, their wisdom gets bastardized when we fail to balance them with the importance of:

  • Taking care of our own needs;

  • Nurturing our souls; and

  • Remembering we are the beloved sons and daughters of God.

 In short, it’s okay to like ourselves.

 The Native American tradition emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance by focusing on eight practices on the path toward healthy Self-Love:

  • Come to Self. Take time to listen in the quiet to your sacred self, observing yourself through your soul.

  • Befriend Self. Become friends with yourself, your crooked side and your straight side, your bright side and your shadow side. Become your own best friend.

  • Accept Self. Find the courage within to become who you are; let the sacred energy of your uniqueness roam free, but harness it when you must.

  • Value Self. Each of us has a sacred purpose in life, to love those with whom we walk, to contribute something positive to the Universe. Find and value your unique purpose. Realize the world would be incomplete without you. The universe needs you to be whole.

  • Become Self. Let go of the past wounds and experiences which you hang onto through anger and resentment trying to protect yourself. We’re invited to learn wisdom through each of our life’s experiences, to learn how to love. Realize you are safe. You always have been. Discover and become who you are: the beloved son and daughter of the Great Mystery.

  • Love Self. Open your mind. Open your heart. Experience the gift of you becoming we; your soul living within a sacred body connected to the entire Universe, your heart beating with the rhythm of the Creator.

  • Celebrate Self. Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. Take time to laugh, dance and sing. The Creator’s deepest desire is for each of us to enjoy all of God’s creation.

  • Share Self. To give is a basic need. To share ourselves and our gifts with others increases our integrity, our sense of self-worth. Share your smiles, as well as your sadness. Open a door for another for when we serve others we also serve ourselves.[1]

 In addition to the Native American tradition, Jesus’ life reminds us of the virtue of self-love and acceptance. While healing and preaching to a huge crowd, he lost his energy, his connection to his father. Despite the urging of his disciples to stay, Jesus lovingly retreated to the mountain telling the others, I need to be me with my father.

 Consider taking some time today to reflect on your own level of self-acceptance.

Is it okay to like yourself?



 Brian Plachta May 2014


[1] Jones, Blackwolf, Listen to the Drum, 1995 (Hazelden, Center City).


  1. I have often doubted self worth as being nothing more than self gratification and in many respects have devalued ‘self’. I now know how important I am in the greater scheme of things – the universe – and that what I do for my ‘self’ is relevant. ‘Listen to the Drum’ is one of those life changing reads that keep on reassuring oneself the importance and value and belief in the ‘self’. wise words revealed.

    • Wise words Nunzi! I loved your comment and also this comment from Father Colloton to this post on Facebook:

      “Not only OK, but really necessary for love to be gift, not manipulation”


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